You know him better than any of his relatives or friends. You are aware of every his feeling and thought, not a single trait of his personality goes past you. You saw him at his best and at his worst and you love him passionately with your whole heart. There is only one thing that keeps you away from complete happiness. He is a book character and he does not exist.
Two Different Cases
It is not that bad if the character is fictional. At least you can convince yourself that he is an invention of somebody’s creative mind, a creature too perfect to exist. The whole situation becomes much worse if your beloved character is a legendary person or a famous historical figure. The mere realization of this fact fills your head with “If only I had been born a century earlier” thoughts. All we can advise you – a cruel, but an effective cure: look around and find a nowadays legendary person. What are your chances to build a relationship with such an individual? Lower than one could imagine? Well, then it is hardly possible that you would be able to reach the man of your dreams a century ago. Besides, most of his positive traits are likely to be made up.
Short List of Pieces of Advice
There are some general pieces of advice for everyone who got lovesick for a book character:
- Try to switch the book. Find another character to decrease your feelings towards the previous one. Just do not become too playful about it – you might fall in love with the next character and the new feeling can even be worse than the old one.
- Do NOT try to find yourself a real relationship before you manage to cope with “book love”. Real boyfriends always lose. At least because you cannot read their thoughts.
- Try to realize: do you love the character or your own reflection within him? Or, perhaps, he is simply a perfect image of a man for you, not an object of love? Then all you need to do is to make yourself better – and to become more like him.
- Join the fan club. There you will be able to meet people who will understand your awkward passion and to share your feelings with them. Perhaps, your love towards a fiction character will help you make friends with someone, who will stay in your life even when the love itself will fade away.
Think Realistic
A character you adore when reading a book, in reality could shatter your life into pieces. Deb Caletti made a good point in his book “The Secret Life of Prince Charming”: “It starts so young, and I’m angry about that. The garbage we’re taught. About love, about what’s “romantic”. Look at so many of the so-called romantic figures in books and movies. Do we ever stop and think how many of them would cause serious and drastic unhappiness after “The End”? Why are sick and dangerous personality types so often shown a passionate and tragic and something to be longed for when those are the very ones you should run for your life from? Think about it.”
